the only souls i see are ghosts
by smorgasbord
Summary: Odin remakes the world for his son, and fails again.


He considers it once, after Laufey takes his eye, but he has won the war and Odin will not risk victory, not even for his own eye. He learns to live without it, to ignore the hollow socket and the ache in his skull. It takes him a long time to retrain his aim and depth perception but he is Odin, he is Allfather, he is Borson. He can live without his eye.

And then Loki lets go. He falls and he falls and he falls and Odin cannot save him.

Odin cannot live without his son.

So he carves runes into the heart of Asgard, into Yggdrasil, pours in his magic, his blood, his sorrow, his love.

Odin remakes the world for his son.

And then he opens his eyes, _eyes._ He is sitting among the great rulers of all the realms, Vanaheim, Alfheim…Jotunheim. Frigga is beside him, squeezing his hand under the table. He remembers now, that she called this council amidst rumours of Jotunheim's intention to invade Midgard. Tyr had rallied for war, but sweet Frigga, wise Frigga, Frigga who just birthed a son and refused to send her husband to war, suggested this instead.

Laufey is speaking, his people are many and resources thin, _Midgard has much to spare,_ he says. _For my people,_ he says, _for my son._ And Odin's breath catches and his heart stutters.

And Odin agrees.

Midgard becomes a quarry to all the realms, under Jotunheim's regulation, with open trade of raw materials and technology and literature. All the realms flourish, Yggdrasil flourishes.

Odin befriends Laufey. He travels to Jotunheim frequently to discuss business of the realms _(secretly, he waits)._ Sometimes he brings Thor with him. The four year old is bundled in furs, chasing behind Laufey's first born, Helblindi.

One day they're greeted at the Bifrost site by a blur of blue and purple. Helblindi is vibrating with excitement, even the amethysts tangled in his wild hair are buzzing.

"Thor! Thor!" he shouts, "I'm going to have a brother, Thor!"

Laufey is grinning widely behind his son and Odin feels Helblindi's excitement wash over him, a cry of joy bubbling in his throat. Thor tugs on his father's hand, "I want a brother too!" he says petulantly.

Laufey laughs at the look on Odin's face. The Allfather is struggling to find an appropriate answer when Helblindi comes to the rescue.

"We can share!"

Farbauti's pregnancy is difficult and Laufey is distracted by preparations. Odin comes with Frigga and Thor so Helblindi may have a companion while he and Frigga help with what they can.

Svartalfheim's rebel alliance takes this opportunity to attack.

Fear and stress send Farbauti into early labour. Frigga rushes her and the children into the nursery, locking the doors and fortifying them with spells. Thor and Helblindi are shaking and crying, for all their talk of becoming warrior kings they are but four years old and scared out of their minds.

Farbauti holds back her screams of pain as Frigga coaches her to breathe and push. Outside, Laufey and Odin cut down the rebels mercilessly. The halls are drenched in blood and Loki is born on a battlefield _(again)._

Loki has been forced from his mother's womb too early. He is small and sickly and his parents (_all_ his parents) spend many sleepless nights by his side, singing to him, telling him stories, _praying, praying, praying._

Laufey takes his anger out on the rebels, executes them in the most gruesome painful manner. Odin takes it a step further and cuts off all contact with Svartalfheim, sawing their branch off Yggdrasil.

"You brew war." Heimdall tells him.

"I don't care."

Loki lives. He grows stronger and soon Helblindi and Thor are demanding to play with him.

"Support his head." Farbauti says as she gently eases the baby into their arms. Thor runs his finger down Loki's soft cheek and feels a warm tingle in his skin.

"What…?"

Loki's skin blends from blue to pink and his eyes are flashing green. "Magic!" Helblindi breathes in awe, "Mama look! Loki can do magic!"

Laufey and Odin return from a day of meetings to find the nursery full of spectacular creations, the glimmering jewels and fantastic beasts of Loki's imagination.

"Our son is magic!" Frigga beams, _our son._ No one corrects her.

Laufey likes taking Loki to council meetings. Business is dull and Loki is endlessly entertaining, expressing his opinions in child babble. Odin watches with a twinge of jealousy until Loki crawls across the table and stuffs the Allfather's beard into his mouth. The rulers of the realms all love him, all except Svartalfheim.

Farbauti and Frigga fall pregnant at the same time. Loki is four, Thor and Helblindi are eight.

"More brothers?" Loki asks, touching Farbauti's slightly rounded belly.

"Maybe sisters this time," she says. Helblindi makes a face and Thor says, _ew,_ Frigga cannot control her laughter.

Asgard and Jotunheim are in a frenzy, nobles and peasants alike, all rejoicing, preparing for more royal children. The queens wish to stay together for their pregnancies and Njord invites them to Vanaheim.

"Our halls have not heard the sounds of little feet in a long time." He says

Much whining and hormonal crying later, the queens manage to convince their husbands and gather their children to go to Vanaheim. Njord's home is beautiful and the princes are suitably impressed. Loki becomes the centre of the maids' orbit. They sneak him sweets and pudding, knit him pretty little caps and boots. But the little prince is homesick still, he misses his father. _Laufey? Odin?_ Both. He wanders to the Bifrost site and digs his feet into the sand, wondering when they could go home.

"Loki!" His brothers have found him. "Let's go swimming!"

The three of them set off for the beach followed by an escort of giggling maids and four young guards toting a heavy picnic basket between them (Thor eats more than both Loki and Helblindi combined). They've just found a spot to settle upon when the ground splits open. Dark Elves swarm out of the crevice, slashing throats and spearing hearts.

"Run!" The red haired guard yells and earns himself a sword in his back. The princes don't get far. They're cornered at a jagged cliff; Helblindi shoves Thor and Loki behind him. "Our fathers will kill you!" He shouts with more confidence than he feels.

"But we'll kill you first!" The Dark Elf sneers, he raises his blade, ready to strike, but his leader stops him.

"We'll kill them in front of their fathers."

"Allfather!" Heimdall roars, his voice ringing throughout all of Asgard. "War is here!"

And even when Odin has done everything right he still loses.


End file.
